I have finally reached that point in my life, that I have heard people speak of, but did not understand until now. I no longer find it necessary to try and impress anyone. If someone feels empowered by saying negative things about me, this is out of my control. It hurts, but I am still good. This is very hard to do, but it is certainly possible! When you put yourself out there, you must expect judgment and ridicule from others. There is no way to stop this from happening. It won’t matter who you are, someone will find fault in everything you do. But, hold your head up high, and forgive them.
It really takes personal courage to be yourself, especially through the most difficult times. Once you allow your authenticity to be revealed, you will not want to go back. There may be times when you will want to stand up for yourself, expressing your hurt by confronting the negativity, but most likely it will come out in ways you will regret,. Don’t do it! I have learned to calm down before I act. Many times tears are a natural side effect from feeling the hurt that others may cause you. This is good, this is healthy, but whatever you do, DO NOT react to them.
Continue to be yourself. Shine your beautiful self, holding nothing back. Here are a few things to practice that will allow you to see your awesomeness!
1. Look in the mirror, (I know even this can be very hard to do), look yourself in the eyes, and say nice things. Example: “You are kind, you are good, you are strong, you are not anything anyone says, you are worth it, and you are beautiful’! This may sound very funny, and the first few times will make you giggle and stop. This took me many, many times. First to be able to look in the mirror and think nice things, let alone say them! If you find you can’t do this, try saying these things out loud first, and repeat them. Once you are comfortable saying them, try the mirror exercise.
2. Do nice things for others. This not only builds your confidence and self esteem, but this is your way of giving back and helping others. We live in a world where many people need your help. Be sure to always lend a hand and smile at everyone!
3. Take a picture of yourself. Yes, a selfie. Before you panic, listen; Those struggling with self esteem and confidence, also struggle to have pictures taken of themselves. Most of my life I hid from the camera. I would NEVER allow pictures, let alone post them on social media. This helps us to practice self love and acceptance. I am not saying post a selfie every day and become obsessed with your physical body image. I am saying be comfortable seeing yourself and your reflection. All people are beautiful but some of our actions make us feel not so pretty. What if we all were able to understand this? What makes us feel ugly and why do we react and do things that will hurt others and ourselves? Most of the time, it’s because we do not respect our worth or like ourselves. Stop this!
4. MOST IMPORTANT STEP: LOVE YOURSELF! Love the good and the bad. Love everything. Learn from the bad and move on. Be grateful for the good and move forward.
You only have one life. It may take many tries, errors, and lessons before we get it right. Turn away from all negativity that will sabotage your positive efforts and continue to grow.